boudoir might be a setback

I am 45 year old mom to a beautiful 11 year old son.

I struggle daily with constant headaches due to a bad car accident I was in when I was 27. Every day is a challenge to get out of bed and live life. I always wanted to be a writer so I am currently writing a love story which is built around my daily struggles with chronic headaches.

I wanted to do this session because I have struggled my whole life with how I look. I never thought I was a pretty girl and I hated looking in a mirror. I always felt overweight and constantly compared myself to other women and their beauty.

In 2019 I spiraled into a horrible depression after I was laid off from my job and life continued to get worse as I found out my husband who I have been with for 19 years at the time was having an online affair. I sat down with him one day to tell him I needed help because I was so depressed and as I was telling him how I felt, he was messaging the girl at the same time.

I was hanging on a ledge with one hand ready to fall when I somehow found strength to pull myself up.

I had to keep going for my son. I started working part time at Jewel just to get out of the house and be among people again. I noticed I was losing weight from all the walking I did in that store. My husband and I are working on our marriage still and I am trying to forgive him for leaving me out on that ledge and the affair.

My half sister sent me this website for boudoir at Zealous Stills and I was hesitant at first, but this time I jumped off the ledge, my wings spread wide and I flew.

I met Molly who I thought was an amazing person the first moment I met her and did my boudoir session. Molly makes you feel so comfortable and beautiful while you are having your photos taken.

After I finished my session, I left there feeling so strong and empowered. I can look in a mirror now and smile.

No matter where I go I always bring that strength with me.

This boudoir session was to celebrate my accomplishment of losing a good amount of weight and starting to love myself.

I was nervous before the session. I cried the day before because I thought it might be a setback if I could not see beauty in my photos.

Fueling that was my fear of exposing my imperfect body and my inner beauty not coming out in the pictures but I felt very comfortable during the session. The time flew so fast and if I could have I would have kept going with the session.

Molly said I looked beautiful and for the first time I finally believed it.

I felt so empowered and wanted everyone to see me.

I feel stronger because of boudoir photography. I think about it often and still carry that moment with me every day.

I feel like after exposing my naked body in pictures that it is okay to expose the real me. It does not matter how I appear to other people. It only matters how I appear to myself and I finally appear beautiful to me.

I would tell other women to take the leap and fly. Do the session. Your life will change after you see those photos up on screen and see your outer as well as inner beauty shine.

I just want to thank Molly for helping me in this journey of finding me again. All I care about is how I see myself and not what others see.

Can you relate to her story? Tell me in the comments!

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