I Got My Swagger Back with a Boudoir Photo Shoot

I'M A 38 YEAR OLD MOM OF FOUR!

MY OLDEST TWO WILL BE TURNING 20 AND 19. SO I'VE BEEN A MOM OVER HALF OF MY LIFE. MY YOUNGER TWO ARE 12 AND 10. I WORK PART TIME AT A SCHOOL.

IT SEEMS I'M ALWAYS SURROUNDED BY KIDS!!

I tend to have to be tame and professional since everyone knows me. I'm reiki attuned and I love all things nature. I'm a natural healer and want to fix all the things all the time. (It's something I'm working on.)

I'M NORMALLY THE GO-TO PERSON. THE DO-ER, THE HELPER, AND IT LEADS TO ME OVER-EXTENDING MYSELF AND BEING STRETCHED TOO THIN.

There were a few reasons why I decided to do a boudoir session…

1. I thought my hubby would like it.

2. I have REALLY bad self esteem issues.

When I was a teenager I battled with eating disorders and depression. After a few kids and surgeries, I ended up on the other end of the scale. Being overweight was NOT sexy for me. I don't want my kids to grow up hating their bodies, so I am trying to start to love my body.

Looking at lingerie made me think about being sexy. Then trying it on was a whole ‘nother level of sexy! I haven't worn anthing sexy in about 10 years...hence how I ended up with my youngest 😂

We were just coming out of quarantine. I had lost both of my jobs and had been battling the feeling of having no purpose for a few months. The protests and riots had just started. I couldn't get into a hair salon or a nail salon to get 'pretty.' On top of it all I had gained another 15 pounds.

I WASN'T FEELING SEXY AT ALL AND I HONESTLY ALMOST RESCHEDULED.

What fueled these emotions the most . . .

THE WORLD WAS IN TURMOIL.

so much sadness and anger everywhere. Plus, I had grey roots showing!?!?!?!?

DURING THE SESSION

I felt SEXY AS FUCK! The fire had been lit!

It started with the make up. I don't normally wear any. She made me look so damn gorgeous! Then it rolled into hotness overload from there.

I WAS…

SEXY. GODDESS. WARRIOR. LEVEL.

I honestly didn't think I COULD feel that way, especially in front of someone I just met....while in lingerie. it was amazing. 10/10 would do it again.

The whole experience was fabulous. From the beginning to the end. I "went wild" and let my FUCK IT ALL out.

I FELT FREE!

I've been a mom for so damn long. We had been in lockdown for months.

FUCK COVID! FUCK RACISM! FUCK INSECURITIES!

I was FREE and BEAUTIFUL! It was one of the best feelings I've had in a LONG time. After my session, I felt confident like a warrior. Sexy like a goddess. Trust me, even your walk changes.

I GOT MY SWAGGER BACK.

I haven't had that in way too long. My head was held high and I WANTED to show some skin.

DOING A BOUDOIR SESSION DEFINITELY HAD LASTING EMOTIONAL EFFECTS ON ME.

It really helped me come out of a cocoon. I have been working on loving myself. This really helped me to love my body and to feel comfortable in my own skin. It really was that push I desperately needed and I am so glad I didn't reschedule!

To all of the ladies considering doing a session…

DO IT! Do it FOR YOU.

Yes, my hubby is going to reap the benefits of some bomb ass pictures, but my self esteem is up and THAT is totally worth it. I'M going to reap the benefits of some bomb ass pictures as well. I can't wait to put some up so I can look at them & SEE what a hot bitch I am.

I WILL CARRY THIS WONDERFUL FEELING FOREVER.

I was going through some shit. I had been trying to find my way in the world. Trying to love myself. Being a mom means I'm giving myself to everyone and everything.

It was so nice to do something for ME. To do something that helps ME. To do something that made ME feel sexy. To make ME feel like ME again.