I have felt at war with my body since elementary school.
I am a 46-year-old wife and the mom of a 13-year-old daughter.
I am originally from Texas but moved to Northern Colorado at age 18, and the West feels like my soul's home. I work for a federal government contractor in a fairly high-stress role, but I am beginning to think about a career change that will be a lot nicer on my nervous system. I am also a Reiki master and a certified Breathwork facilitator, and that work feeds my soul in an indescribable way. Lately I have been joking that I am having a midlife crisis, because the desire to change my career and shake myself out of my life rut is very strong but is also very scary!
I have felt at war with my body since elementary school.
I was put on diets at an early age, was a binge eater in college, and then swung wildly in the other direction and became very restrictive in my 20s and 30s. I started to gain weight in my 40s and have been trying to make peace with this changing body. I also deal with chronic pain and have gone through multiple major surgeries in the last few years.
This session was a way for me to celebrate and honor what my body has gone through and thank it for how it is still carrying me through this crazy life.
Leading up to my Adventure Boudoir session I was excited but also nervous. I had no idea what I wanted for "my look," and it was intimidating to try and pick my own outfits (I did a mini session).
I was worried I would be embarrassed and awkward during the session and that I wouldn't like the outcome.
AMAZING! EMPOWERED! FIERCE! SUPPORTED! CRAZY! WILD! SEXY! SENSUAL! FREE!
Leading that? Fear, of course.
I am such a Type A, hyper-vigilant, detailed person that doing something so wild was definitely out of my comfort zone, but that piece of me that is longing to break free from needing to be in control at all times was intrigued enough to go through with it!
In the last few minutes of my shoot, Molly gently encouraged me to get in the freezing cold river completely naked (well, I was wearing earrings).
I don't know exactly what came over me, but I started grabbing mud from the river bank and smearing it all over my body, and then I let out the loudest howl!
I had tapped into the wild part of me that's been begging to come out. It was an amazing feeling.
The overwhelming emotion I felt during the shoot was joy.
It was raining a bit, and the setting Molly had picked felt perfect. In that moment, with Molly's encouragement, I was able to let go and let it all unfold. I didn't feel self-conscious at all. It was actually very fun!
I felt a sense of peace knowing that the wild side of me (the real me?) is in there, and that I'm safe and supported any time it wants to come out and play.
I occasionally look at my pictures through the very handy app on my phone, and I am so proud. I faced some of my greatest fears (showing my body and letting go of control), and it's very powerful to have the knowledge that I am capable of that.
DO IT! You will not regret it.
Talk to Molly about any fears or apprehensions you may feel, and she will guide you through everything. It's so important that we embrace our divine femininity.
This is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
Did M. B. Inspire you?!
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