A Lesson on Embracing Motherhood

I AM 29 YEARS OLD AND A NEW MOM!

When I did my shoot I was 7 months pregnant and he is now a little over 2 months old. I have worked primarily as a nanny for the past ten years but currently am a full time student/mom/amateur photographer.

THIS WAS MY WAY OF DOCUMENTING MY FIRST PREGNANCY.

I HAVE ALWAYS HAD BODY IMAGE ISSUES. I PURGED A MEAL FOR THE FIRST TIME WHEN I WAS NINE YEARS OLD AND HAVE ON AND OFF STRUGGLED WITH BULIMIA AND RESTRICTING FOOD EVER SINCE.

When I got pregnant I knew that the changes my body was about to go through would be hard on me. I obsessively weighed myself in the beginning and struggled with having to make sure I ate enough since I was so used to starving myself.

Booking a session with Molly was one of the ways I tried to embrace motherhood and my changing body.

I BOOKED MY BOUDOIR SESSION MONTHS PRIOR. I HAD SEEN A LOT OF MOLLY'S WORK AND WAS EXCITED BECAUSE I KNEW SHE TOOK BEAUTIFUL PHOTOS, BUT I WASN'T PREPARED TO FEEL SO HUGE AND SWOLLEN WHEN MY SESSION DATE APPROACHED.

A freak snow storm hit the day of my session and I had more anxiety about it getting pushed back another couple of weeks knowing I could be even bigger by the time I came into the studio. I almost canceled my session because I was terrified of looking so huge in my photos.

I did not expect to get full nude either!

WHEN I HAVE FELT LIKE I AM LESS COMFORTABLE WITH MY WEIGHT, I AVOID PHOTOS COMPLETELY.

I was afraid I wouldn’t like the photos and it would make me depressed.

I WAS SHOCKED AT HOW CALM AND COMFORTABLE MOLLY MADE ME FEEL DURING OUR SESSION. HER BREATHING TECHNIQUES AND WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT REALLY HELPED ME RELAX WHILE SHE SHOT ME. I LOVED ALL THE DIRECTION SHE GAVE US TOO! I HAVE HIRED PHOTOGRAPHERS WHO DON'T GIVE ANY DIRECTION AND THE PHOTOS TURNED OUT SO AWFUL. HER PHOTOS ARE POSED BUT STILL LOOK SO NATURAL.

I WAS SO COMFORTABLE.

I AM AN AWKWARD PERSON SO FEELING SO RELAXED WAS DEFINITELY UNEXPECTED. SO WAS GETTING COMPLETELY NAKED!

A moment that stuck out the most though, was when Molly saw my son move while she was shooting me. :)

I FELT GOOD ABOUT THE SESSION BUT WAS STILL SO NERVOUS TO SEE THEM.

IT FELT EMPOWERING TO HAVE MY PHOTOS TAKEN LIKE THAT AND WAS HOPING SEEING THEM WOULDN'T CHANGE THAT.

Molly’s photos made me feel beautiful, but seeing her other work and being part of her group has as well. I am learning to be comfortable in my body and embrace the changes that came with starting a family.

TO OTHER WOMEN WHO ARE CONSIDERING DOING A SESSION:

DO IT!

I am SO glad that I did and I am really excited to do another when I'm not pregnant!