There was no longer any fear there of just taking up the space and being myself but I felt so present and that felt sexy to me.

There is one picture where I'm sitting by the river and looking up, I was just feeling the moment (…) This is one of my favorites because she was able to capture this look in my eyes. I saw that photo and was overwhelmed because it's the first picture of myself that I've ever looked at and thought that's me. I saw my own soul in my eyes and it's the first time I felt beautiful.

Through 2020 and 2021 I had some not great medical things happen, and some scary as hell “maybes” one of which was that heart crushing “C word”. Even with that being ruled out my body and mind were going through so much back-to-back trauma my brain could not compute that I was going to be ok!

Then, I lost what I felt was ALL of my femininity and had a hysterectomy in 2021, my body was failing me, and my mental health was following right behind it.

I knew I needed to process this all in a new way. So I dug deep, and for me that means secluding myself and writing it all out, burning or shredding the things that do not fit or are doing me an injustice. It is hard work, draining work, but it was work I needed to save my life.